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The Mermaid Trilogy
This song is but one element in the access era known as "さんさく" or The Trilogy (I'll call it The Mermaid Trilogy on this site).

The Mermaid Trilogy mainly refers to 3 songs: Drastic Mermaid, Scandalous Blue, and Tear's Liberation, and their music videos/pvs released between August and November of 1994, shortly before access's infamous Silence hiatus. "Image-linked" to these songs is other content including a light novel series, photoshoots, a manga series, a short story, etc. It's not dissimilar to a kpop "era" where the photos, songs, music videos all follow a theme.

Access's Trilogy era was defined by its theme of "pure emotions". In interviews, access said that most listeners assume romantic songs are referring to the relationship between a man and a woman. They clarified that they wanted to specifically describe the "pure emotions" of どうせいあい or same-sex/homosexual love. Perhaps following the at-the-time-recent rise in popularity of yaoi, and definitely not deterred by the behavior of the two members of access, the themes were sensational and are considered ahead of their time.

SCANDALOUS BLUE

Lyrics by: Asagiri Haruka (aka Inoue Akio)
Song released: 1994 August 19th
Highest Oricon Rank: 3rd on weekly, 128th overall year

SCANDALOUS BLUE is the second in the three-song series. After, perhaps coming to terms with his feelings towards that magical other person, Singer struggles desperately with the desire to pursue Mermaid and the fear that he will destroy himself and his love. Yet, despite that fear, Singer cannot imagine a life where he calls this affection "a mistake" and, without Mermaid by his side, he simply cannot go on.


JAPANESE ENGLISH
渦巻く視線を    かわすX・PLAY
“今夜逢いたい”    と目で呼ぶ
非常階段で    奪うKISSが
尚更君を駄目にさせる

FALLIN' NIGHT
こらえても燃え尽きたい気持ちが
FALLIN' DOWN
拒む腕を叛かせる

愛だから云えない
人目を引く    ATTENTION
それでもいい
迷うほど    心は君を求めて
溜め息で殺した    愛しさの HALATION
あやまちで終われない    夜を重ねる
'CAUSE ITS SCANDALOUS

“二度と逢わない”を    繰り返せば
裏切る吐息が絵になる
暴かれた恋に    身を震わす
秘密が蒼い傷をつけて

FALLIN' NIGHT
じれるほど    ききわけのない唇
FALLIN' DOWN
罪を抱いて    堕ちてゆく

愛だからいけない
行き止まる    AFFECTION
それでもいい    はぐれても
もう君なしで歩けない
追いかけて探して    瞬間のHALATION
儚さが音をたてる    二人の夜に…
'CAUSE IT'S SCANDALOUS

愛だから云えない
人目を引く    ATTENTION
それでもいい
迷うほど    心は君を求めて
溜め息で殺した    愛しさの HALATION
あやまちで終われない    夜を重ねる
'CAUSE ITS SCANDALOUS

愛だからいけない
行き止まる    AFFECTION
それでもいい    はぐれても
もう君なしで歩けない
追いかけて探して    瞬間のHALATION
儚さが音をたてる    二人の夜に…
'CAUSE IT'S SCANDALOUS

Swept up in a swirling exchange of glances
Eyes crying out “I want to see you tonight”
The kiss I stole on the fire escape
Only pulls you further into ruin

FALLING NIGHT
The desire to burn myself down, stronger than I can bear,
FALLING DOWN
Ignites my heart and makes my arms rebel

I cannot admit it because this is love
This kind of attention draws an audience
Even so
I’m lead astray by my heart’s yearning for you
The glowing halo around our love, extinguished with a quiet sigh
Refusing to let this end a mistake, I go back night after night
’CAUSE IT'S SCANDALOUS

"This won't happen again..." If I endlessly repeat this lie,
Each of those sighs of betrayal will form a picture of the truth
I tremble at the thought of that truth exposed
Every secret leaves its own pale blue scar

FALLING NIGHT
My disobedient lips are growing impatient
FALLING DOWN
Holding fast to my sin, I plummet further and further...

I must not act on it because this is love
Affection leading to a dead end
Even so, I accept this path
But without you by my side, I can’t walk at all
Chasing, seeking that momentary halo around you
That fleeting instance gains a voice in these nights we share
’CAUSE IT'S SCANDALOUS

I cannot admit it because this is love
This kind of attention draws an audience
Even so
I’m lead astray by my heart’s yearning for you
The glowing halo around our love, Extinguished with a quiet sigh
Refusing to let this end a mistake, I go back night after night
’CAUSE IT'S SCANDALOUS

I must not act on it because this is love
Affection leading to a dead end
Even so, I accept this path
But without you by my side, I can’t walk at all
Chasing, seeking that momentary halo around you
That fleeting instance gains a voice in these nights we share
’CAUSE IT'S SCANDALOUS

← back to DRASTIC MERMAID

forward to TEAR'S LIBERATION→

Translation Notes:
  • This song was increasingly challenging to translate. The goal was to communicate the absolute anguish Singer feels in his struggle. I did request the support of A as my resident Anguish & Despair Sensitivity Reader. She helped greatly. Many thanks 🙇
  • Right out the gate, I had the great struggle of: "X(CROSS)-PLAY". Perhaps, if you are a Western English-speaker, your first assumption hearing "crossplay" would be the port manteau of "cross-dressing" (dressing as the opposite gender) and "cosplay" (dressing as a character). This is apparently NOT ALWAYS THE CASE, as x-play can also refer to a baseball term meaning a situation in which it's difficult to tell if a player is out or safe (think "close-play" rather than cross). This actually made the line make a lot more sense, so please think of the additional layered meaning of "we keep exchanging glances and either we can't tell if people know what's going on between us, or I can't tell if you're picking up on my meaning here...."
  • THE MOST IMPORTANT LINE!!! (In my opinion) is the "はぐれても もう君なしで歩けない". Let's break it down. はくれても is like "even if I get separated from everyone/I get lost from the path". "もう君なしで" is "in the situation that you are not there". "歩けない" is "I cannot walk". T_T romantic... In other words, "even if I end up choosing to leave the Normal Life path of society, if you aren't there, there's no way I could even walk at all." Even if Singer decides to accept the "abnormal" lifestyle of being gay, if he doesn't have Mermaid, he couldn't live either life.
  • Key note: if you are a fujo, you are now loaded with the heavy meaning in this song. Please now take the chance to go on YouTube and search for live performances of access singing this. Observe Hiro and what he chooses to do during which lyrics...
  • Also, if you've ever wondered "what the heck does 'halation' mean. I feel like I've heard it in Snow Halation a hundred times in JPOP", you are not alone. Halation is the glow around something.. Like, if you take a photo of the moon, it has the light glow around it? That's the moon's halation.